It is a difficult task for teenagers today to listen intently for the will of God in their lives while they are surrounded by a sea of sad expectations from the world, but it is absolutely essential in becoming a vessel that God can use. If one is not careful, he will easily fall into the trap of basing his life around the assumptions of the majority rather than what God would expect from him. One might even fall short of accomplishing all that he is capable of. Sometimes an idea is so constantly thrown at a person that he starts to believe it and accept it as his own standard. Here’s an example of how an idea can bloom into a barrier. In Asia , elephant owners are able to contain their elephants in a certain area simply by tying them up with a small piece of rope.[1] How does this work? Couldn’t the towering elephant easily break free? The elephant could, but does not. Here’s how it works: When the elephant is still very small, it is chained to a tree by a large, heavy chain. The elephant may try and try to break free, but its efforts are no use. No matter how hard it pulls, it can’t move from its spot. After days of exhorting all of its strength into working to snapping the chain, it finally gives up and accepts the fact that it will not be able to leave the tree. Soon after, the owner switches out the chain for a piece of rope. Again, the elephant tries to leave, but at the slightest feeling of resistance it gives up. It could easily break loose, but because it has accepted the idea that if there is something around its leg, it won’t be able to move.[2] It is the same with teenagers. If you accept ideas from the world as your standards, you are likely to follow through to them, and you are likely to fall short of rising to your full potential. [3]
Are you aware that at one point in time, there were no teenagers? The first documented use of the word “teenager” was in a 1941 issue of Reader’s Digest. In fact, before the early twentieth century, a person was either a child or an adult, no teenagers.[4] When a child reached a certain age or matured physically, they were considered adults and were expected to work just as hard as any other adult. They had the same duties and responsibilities as their parents did, and because it was assumed that they would rise to those expectations, they did. Children were encouraged to grow up as soon as they could so that they could contribute to society and enjoy adulthood. Now, however, the world puts teenagers in their own category, and with it, a perception that accepts, and sometimes even encourages, teens to live like children for years longer than needed. A teen is now “a young person with most of the desires and abilities of an adult but few of the expectations or responsibilities.”[5]
Even what the majority of people would consider the most they should expect from teens is actually what they should be considering the least they should expect. Sadly, our culture has come to think that teens are hardly capable of anything but trouble, and the worst part of it is that teenagers accept that idea and lower themselves to the level that everyone expects them to be at. They do just enough to meet the mark and then tend to stop pushing themselves. [6]
Teenagers feel a lot of pressure from their peers, and depending on their social circle, they will feel either a lot of positive or negative pressures. Teens who surround themselves with positive influences feel a lot of pressure to respect their parents, dress modestly, save sex for marriage, and treat everyone equally. Teens who aren’t trying to surround themselves with people who will encourage them towards Godly choices, and even some who do, will feel pressure from their peers to have sex, drink, dress a certain way to impress their peers, and make fun of other people.[7]
Teens also feel a lot of expectations from the adults in their lives. A lot of adults believe that most or a lot of teens are in a dating relationship, are having sex, drink, rebel against authority, dress to impress their peers, and make fun of other people. They also expect few to dress modestly, to save sex for marriage, or treat everyone equally.[8]
Unfortunately, with such low expectations for teens from the people around them, teens are proving that, as Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.”[9] Here are some statistics: 89% of teens have been in dating relationships.[10] Nearly 75% of teenagers have had sexual intercourse by the time they turn 20.[11] Three out of every for high school students have consumed alcohol by the time they graduate, and about two-fifths of students have had alcohol by 8th grade.[12] Lastly, almost 30% of teens in the U.S.
When we are given high expectations we usually rise to meet them, and when we are given low expectations we usually drop to meet them.[14] We live in a society that wants to tell us how to run every aspect of our lives, and when we allow their expectancies to become our own, we are letting them build us into who they think we should be, which is not what Christ wants us to be.[15] We end up wasting critical years of our lives, years that could help us to become strong and prepared for an amazing, purposeful future.[16] God does not expect certain things from young adults and different things for adults; He holds the same standard for both.[17] In First Timothy 4:12, the Bible teaches that young people are not to let others look down on them, but they are to be examples to everyone of what a Christian should look like. That is definitely not an easy task.[18]
So if the will of God for our lives is not to lower ourselves to the standards of this world, what is His will? There are two categories of the will of God: “universal will” (or “revealed will”) which is what God expects from all of His people, and His “particular will” (or “unrevealed will”) which is what God would want from us in specific situations in our lives.[19]
There is no way around the universal will of God. If a choice in a decision you’re making goes against this will, there’s absolutely no way that it is what God wants for your life.[20] All of this will is revealed to us in the Bible. Every command under the “umbrella” of His universal will is made for the well being of ourselves and others.[21] God knows exactly what will bring joy into our lives, and what will repress it.[22] In order to know how to make decisions we need to know the universal will of God. So what exactly is His universal will?
God reveals His universal will clearly in the Bible. There are ten major points in this will:
1) All of His people are to be holy (1Thes. 4:3). In this passage of scripture (v. 3-8), Paul is referring to sexual purity. We are also to be holy and pure in every aspect of our lives, especially in the way we present ourselves in the presence of nonbelievers.
2) Everyone needs salvation. This involves being delivered from sin and receiving the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit provides God’s presence inside of us and makes us able to live holy lives.
3) Everyone is to repent (2 Peter 3:9)
4) God desires that everyone on Earth be a part of His family.
5) God wants everyone to know about His unwavering purposes (Heb. 6:17). We need to know the word of God, live it out, and communicate it to others.
6) We are to exhibit mercy in our lives (Matt. 12:7).
7) We need to be thankful (1 Thess. 5:18). God wants us to find something to be thankful for in every situation we are in.
8) We are to be involved in the things that please Him (Phil. 2:13).
9) We are to be the servants of God, and we are to serve Him with all of our hearts (Eph. 6:6-7) and with honor (Col. 3:17).
10) God wants His children to live in unity (Eph. 1:10). We are to build each other up in our speech and actions, and be kind, forgiving, and loving towards one another as Jesus would.[23]
God has provided His universal will for us, and He expects us to “use our powers of discrimination to select alternatives in the particular decisions we must make daily.”[24] This is how we discover the particular will of God, His will for us in our decisions are unique to our own particular situations. Using His universal will as a guide, there can be many choices that would be pleasing to God. In order to decide what choice to make we need to be familiar with what God has revealed to us in Scripture and apply it to our situation. We also need the Holy Spirit who enables us to “apply [the universal will of God] in an unselfish way.”[25] The Holy Spirit is also the “Spirit of Wisdom” (Eph. 1:17-19), and “having wisdom is having God’s disposition or characteristics within us as motivation and guidance in our decision-making.”[26]
God is actually more concerned with why we choose what we do than the actual choice we make.[27] In making our decisions we need to realize why we’re choosing to go a specific route. One should consider many factors: general principles – any words from the Bible on the area of decision; charisma – the talents that God has given to us, based on interest, ability, experimentation, advice from others, and how much satisfaction it bring to you; counsel – God often uses others to bring His counsel into our lives (Prov. 11:14); feelings and desires – our decisions should not be solely based on these, but they should be taken into consideration; common sense (Luke 14:28) – decide what is sensible; and trusting God – all of our choices need to be made trusting that God will bless us if we base our decisions upon His universal will and the principles above.[28]
Sometimes it can be difficult to see the truth when deciding whether or not a specific choice correspond with the gifts, teaching, and counsel that God has given you. It is important to know how to listen to God intently in these cases. God speaks to any of His children who seek His guidance wholeheartedly. The Bible tells us that those who ask shall receive (Luke 11:9), so when we ask God to reveal Himself to us, He promises to come through. Sometimes God responds through counsel from other people or reception of information that specifically applies to your situation. Other times God may respond through our thoughts focusing in one direction or by the Holy Spirit bringing a certain passage of Scripture to our remembrance.[29] We need to be open to however God might respond to us, even if His response is silence. God reveals Himself to us in His own perfect timing, so we need to trust that His way is flawless.
When we are able to discern the will of God for our lives and are willing to be obedient to it, God is able to use us to accomplish “hard things” for His glory. There are 5 main types of hard things. The first type is the hard things that are challenging because they involve us doing things that are foreign to us. This could be speaking in public or working with new people, whatever is outside of your comfort zone. They can be scary, but these things will always help us grow so that those situations aren’t as scary in the future.[30]
There are hard things that exceed what others expect from you. Going “above and beyond” is hard because no one is pushing you to accomplish it, and there will be no consequence if you do not. It is entirely up to you. These things could include doing a chore at your house that was not asked of you or staying later after school to help a teacher straighten up the classroom. Since it is your own personal choice to work at these, you will often feel most proud of these things.
Sometimes there are hard things which are too big or ambitious to complete on your own. Things like starting a ministry in your community, organizing a fundraiser, or even working to end abortion nationwide are things that we can feel very passionately about. However, one must motivate others to join in on these projects for them to be achieved.[31]
Another type of hard thing is one that does not have an “immediate payoff.” It could be something like exercising or working hard in school. These things can often seem unimportant because you do not always see the progress they are making. One also may not receive much recognition for doing these things. Nevertheless, these things are important because they will make you better off in the long run.[32]
The last type of hard thing is one that threatens the culture of today—things that “go against the flow.” Things such as standing up against homosexuality or abstaining from sex until marriage are definitely not the cool thing to do according to the world, but when one decides that pleasing God is more important than pleasing others, he could make a big difference in his life and the lives of those around him.[33]
God tells us in His word that with Him all things are possible (Matt. 19:26). This means that no matter how difficult a situation is, if we put our trust in God we can be victorious. It will not be easy to rebel against the sorry excuse for expectations that this culture has set for teens, but with God’s help it is within reach. So are you willing to stand up and make your teen years worth something?
[1] Harris, Alex and Brett. Do Hard Things. (Colorado Springs
[2] Ibid., 42-43.
[3] Ibid., 45.
[4] Ibid., 30.
[5] Ibid.,. 34-35
[6] Ibid., 36
[7] Verkruyse, Amy. Email survey for teenagers: “How much pressure do you feel from
peers…” 14-17 Nov. 2010.
[8] Verkruyse, Amy. Personal survey for adults: “How many teens (on average) would you
expect…” 17-21 Nov. 2010.
[9] Harris, 41
[10] Hardcastle, Jonathon. “Statistics on Teenage Relationships.”
[11] Family First Aid. “Teen Sex Statistics.”
[12] Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD). “Underage Drinking.”
http://www.sadd.org/stats.htm. Feb. 2007.
[13] Family First Aid. “School Bullying and Teen Bullying Statistics.”
[14] Harris, 36.
[15] Ibid. 43.
[16] Ibid. 44.
[17] Ibid. 42.
[18] Revolve Devotional Bible. “A Lifestyle of Faith.” Thomas Nelson, Inc. 2006. 1457.
[19] Staton, Knofel. How to Know the Will of God. Cincinnati , Ohio
Company, 1976. 15.
[20] Ibid., 17.
[21] Ibid., 24.
[22] Ibid., 23.
[23] Ibid., 19-22
[24] Ibid., 28.
[25] Ibid., 39.
[26] Ibid., 40.
[27] Ibid., 41
[28] Ibid., 42-46
[29] Wagner, Linda. “Learning to Listen to God.” Discipleship Journal 13:50-54 (1993):
02735865.
[30] Harris, 57.
[31] Ibid., 58.
[32] Ibid., 58-59.
[33] Ibid., 59.
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