Started off with a letter from my beautiful Prince in “His Princess Bride”. It was about how He wants to lead me. He wants to take every step with me, and guide me towards a life of legacy. A “life of legacy”…that sounds like all I could ask for…. Before I started reading that, I had just listened to “Set the World on Fire” by Britt Nicole, my perfect prayer. That’s exactly what I want to do. I want to get the world on fire for God! I want to be the one He uses to do that! I want Him to take my dreams and give them wings (and I think He’s already starting to give them flight, with my audition for worship at LCU going so well!)! I want to feed the hungry! I want to travel the world and leave one of His footprints in every place I serve! I want to tell the broken there is healing and hope and mercy in God! I know I’m small and weak, but I know that God is big enough and strong enough to take me incredible places. I know that with Him there is absolutely nothing I can’t do! This is the life of legacy I desire, and I know that if I let God lead me, I will make the mark I’m hoping for.
Then in my PURE devotional, I read about fear. I just have to thank God so much for always telling me exactly what I need to hear. Rebecca talked about having so much fear and instead of “thriving” in life, she was simply “surviving”…how she would just try to overcome one challenge after another...she would just try not to fail. She said that: “It has taken quite some time for me to wake up to the reality that this is not the mindset God intends for me. He doesn’t want me to just survive. He wants me to live with a passion for Him and for others.”
Wow…I kind of had a break down yesterday…(and I sadly forgot to take time out of my busy day to give God my time of worship and devotion, so technically I would’ve had this devotion yesterday when it was still so fresh and exactly pertaining to what I was feeling…) I was stressed about finding a job. My dad is majorly pressuring me into getting a job and working as much as I possibly can in order to earn money towards college. He helped me fill out applications and he pretty much made me put down that I’d be willing to work during Christmas week and Thanksgiving week….I’m still kind of upset about that…maybe very upset…though I never expressed that to him…I really really DON’T want to work during that time since it’ll be my only time off from school until my spring break…and I’d like to spend that time with my family!! Hopefully, if they do hire me, I won’t have to work much at that time…
So I’m just thinking about having to work until like right before I head to college in the fall. I really don’t want to work, and I’m afraid of feeling like I have no life… but I know I need the money…
Also, I’m thinking about when I go off to school in the fall…that I’ll be super busy… I’ve determined myself to do the best I can in my classes. I mean, that’s the main reason for going to college right? I keep thinking about how I’m going to have to do all this reading, and studying, and practicing. I see why majoring in music is so time consuming. I mean, along with all of my regular courses, I’ll have to participate in chapel praise band sometimes and practice for my voice lessons. I’ll also have lots of choir practice, and I really want to participate in drama. I also need a work study job if I can get one. So my schedule is going to be soo hectic! I’m worried about not keeping up, or just hating that I have to do everything…
That’s why this devotion has been so amazing to me. I shouldn’t have that attitude. I shouldn’t be afraid of doing all of these things. God “wants me to live with a passion for Him and for others.” So instead of seeing working this summer and at school as an “ew….I have to work! Shoot me!” I should look at it as, “yay! I not only get an opportunity to meet these new people and hopefully influence them for God’s glory, but I also get to earn money to help me go to the college of my dreams and learn how to best minister to other people!” I should look at school work as “yes! I get to learn more about God and how to serve Him even better! I get to live in a country where I get to do this! I am going to do this so I can earn a degree and fulfill all that God wants for my life!”
I seriously think I’m going to take that quote from above, that Rebecca said and like make it into a pretty picture and frame it to put in my dorm room. That’s something I think I need to see everyday. I might even do something with those outlooks I posted above to remember why I’m doing what I’m doing.
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